Hold on, it's time to consult the checklist here:

• Charged with aggravated assault stemming from an on-ice incident. Bad on-ice behaviour. Check.
  
• Hit wife with his crutches and refused to be transferred to other teams. Douchebag off of the ice. Check.
  
• A Hockey Hall of Famer who predates most dirtiest player ever conversations. Check.
  

I think we have a winner for the reverse Masterton name rights and as a bonus, he played for the Ottawa Senators. Armed with this knowledge, I had to consult what possibly is the worst book ever written about the Ottawa Senators -- The Ottawa Senators: The Best Players and the Greatest Games authored by J. Alexander Poulton -- to see if there is any mention of Cleghorn. (Ed. note: This book can be purchased at Chapters for under $10. Upon completion, it should be used with kindling to start a fire.)

Fortunately, a few paragraphs were devoted to Cleghorn:

The 1921-22 regular season ... was a fairly uneventful season for the Senators, except for the brief reunion with Sprague Cleghorn. After the 1921 Cup victory, the Ottawa Senators unceremoniously dropped Cleghorn from their roster, preferring to go with younger talent such as King Clancy. A natural force on the ice, Cleghorn did not have to wait long before being picked up by the Montreal Canadiens where he was teamed up with his brother Odie, but Cleghorn still held a grudge against his former team. Cleghorn declared war on the Senators, and when they met again for the first time on February 1, 1922, he was out for blood.

Cleghorn did little to hide his contempt for his former club after the puck was dropped. He started by viciously checking Senators captain Eddie Gerard and then slashing him on the head, opening up a cut above Gerard's eye that required five stitches to close. A short while later, Cleghorn set his sights on Ottawa's top scorer, Cy Denneny, and gave him a nasty cut above the eye that spurted blood all over the ice. Not yet satisfied, Cleghorn set his sights on the Sens' Frank Nighbor. Cleghorn got his chance when Nighbor had the puck in the corner with his back to the play. Cleghorn rushed into the corner and slammed Nighbor down to the ice, landing on his elbow hard enough that Nighbor couldn't play the rest of the game. Cleghorn had single-handedly removed three of the Senators' best players from the match. Ottawa police on hand that night offered to arrest Cleghorn and make him spend the night in jail for his obvious assault on the Senators players, but the referees persuaded the police to let the NHL handle its own discipline. For his offences, Sprague Cleghorn received a match penalty, a warning from the league president Frank Calder and a $15 fine.

A match penalty, a warning and a $15 fine? Apparently the NHL's discipline committee hasn't changed much in the past 90 seasons.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the Sprague Cleghorn Trophy, your reverse Masterton. Can I get some nominees please?

I just received an off the record tip via email. According to it, Jared Cowen will play make his regular season NHL debut against the Tampa Bay Lightning. God rumours are fun!

Update (6:30pm):

There has been some expressed concern that a year could be burned off Cowen's contract if he does play tomorrow. As far as I can tell, it can't based off of what I've read off of NHLSCAP.com:

A player’s ELC may be extended for three reasons:
1. If a player age 18 or 19 signs an SPC and does not play at least ten (10) NHL games in the first season, his contract will extend for one (1) year.
2. If a player age 18 signs an SPC and his contract is extended as above, and in the 2^nd year does not play at least ten (10) NHL games, his contract will extend for one (1) additional year.
3. If a player fails to give his playing services called for under his SPC [except as a result of injury, illness, or disability] while in the Entry-Level System, his contract will extended while he fails to offer those services.

It's important to note that under the first stipulation by definition, NHL games isn't exclusive to the regular season. More than 10 games accrued during the regular season and playoffs will burn a year off of Jared Cowen's entry-level contract.

^{(Image done by one of our readers, Alan)}

It's such a cliched Simmons thing to do, but since last night's game was one of the special variety, I figured that it would be a good opportunity to do a running diary of the events. Here we go:

7:00pm: Sportsnet opens the game with Ian Mendes voicing over an Alfredsson montage. We get the first of what I expect to be many Jofa helmet sightings.

7:01pm: Once the montage ends, we're treated to a recorded video featuring former Senators assistant coach Craig Ramsey. With these sort of things, it's usually the message that matters but with Ramsay's nose leaking faster than the Philadelphia Flyers' ship, I was too distracted to comprehend a word that he said.

7:07: The horrifically bad Canadian Blood Services ad starring Chris Kelly is run for the first time. The over/under for the number of times that it runs tonight is 4.5.

7:08: Pascal Leclaire is revealed to be the starting goaltender for the Senators. Insert barb about So much for trying to win one for Alfie here.

7:10: When Cory Clouston arrived in Ottawa, one of the first things that he preached was that good practice habits will resurface when it comes time to actually play the game. Nathan Horton helped reaffirm this notion by pushing the puck toward the net like it was the Panthers assistant coach, Mike Kitchen.

7:15: An ad airs that features a faux, panning crowd shot while the A Recharge with Chocolate Milk graphic is overlayed over top. The reason I know that it's not the actual crowd being shown in the commercial is because of the absorbitantly high number of people in the seats.

7:16: I notice the Foligno, Fisher, Kovalev line for the first time. This newly created line of struggling Senators forwards needs a nickname. One Twitter follower suggested the FFK (pronounced fffffffffffffffk) Line because that's the sound she makes whenever Kovalev makes a ghastly play. Me? I'm partial to the Secondary Snoring line.

7:18: Bryan McCabe takes a 4 minute double-minor for high sticking Mike Fisher in the eye. It looks as though Fisher's having difficulty seeing because of the blood that's trickling into his eye and blurring his vision. Garry Galley questions whether or not the referees will force Fish to go to the bench and get repairs. Judging by his body language, Fish really wants to stay out there. If Fisher scores on this power play and shakes off his slump by playing with one eye, I immediately propose that he plays the rest of the season wearing an eyepatch.

7:20: Ottawa sends out a second power play unit of Kovalev, Regin, Foligno, Campoli and Phillips.

7:22: The Panthers successfully kill all four minutes of the power play. Gee, I wonder why.

7:33: Apparently WWE's Smackdown! is coming to Ottawa. Is it wishful thinking that Jonathan Cheechoo gets put through a table so Ottawa can get that contract off of the books?

7:34: Dean Brown just referred to the area outside of the goalie trapezoid as the forbidden zone. Funny, I thought the forbidden zone was the area where Mike Fisher wears his chastity belt.

7:39: The Senators are back on the power play. I have to say, regardless of whether or not they score, watching Karlsson and Alfredsson feed off of each other with the man advantage is one of the most entertaining things that the Senators have going for them. It's uncanny how they seem to know where each other are on the ice. It's not unlike the chemistry that the Sedin twins have. It's like they have ESP or something -- Extra-Swedish-Perception. And Mike Fisher scores giving Alfredsson career point 990.

7:59: After enjoying my free MLB preview on Bell, I tune back in for the start of the second period. If this bothers you that I didn't tune in for the Hockey Central panel, you'll have to understand. I try to stay as far away from Doug MacLean as possible. Besides, I got the added bonus of watching my keeper league stud, Matt Wieters hit a home run.

8:07: Erik Karlsson scores his 5th of the season to put the Senators ahead 2-0.

8:17: After Florida scores to cut the deficit to one, Keith Ballard attempts to swat a loose puck that's in the air away from the vicinity of the Florida goal but inadvertently gloves the puck into his own net. You have to hand it to the guy, he's got a knack for making the hockey highlight reels in an unconventional fashion. Given credit for the goal, Chris Neil registers a Gordie Howe hat-trick. In other words, for one night, that four-year $8M deal look as bad as it used to.

8:22: More Alfredsson trivia from Sportsnet: The last Senators player to wear number eleven was Evgeny Davydov. I remember my father coming home from one Brian Smith Charity Golf Tournament after he had been put in a foursome with Davydov and Dmitri Filimanov. He kept complaining about how the players couldn't speak a word of English. I guess things balanced themselves out the next year when he played with Dean Brown in the SCRAMBLE!!!

8:34: Another video featuring some current NHL'ers who are discussing Alfredsson. Brind'Amour, Ray Whitney and Chris Pronger make appearances. The appearances of Brind'Amour and Pronger both illicit the same "Ugh." reactions from me but with completely different connotations.

8:40: It's the second intermission and the Hockey Central panel is discussing prospective playoff opponents for the Senators and begin debating which team -- Pittsburgh or New Jersey -- is a better first round match up for the Senators. John Shannon is scared by the fact that Ottawa didn't score one single goal against the Devils while on the power play this season. John shouldn't give them too much credit. Simply put, Ottawa's power play has been pretty damn bad this season.

8:58: Mike Fisher scores again early in the third period to put the Senators up 4-1. Instead of worrying about the 2 points for the standings, the threat of a blow out quickly shifts my concern to whether the Senators can make out it of this game unscathed by injury in a meaningless game.

9:03: With the Florida Panthers channeling Alexei Kovalev's intensity, Jarkko Ruutu scores the Senators' fifth goal. The Panthers look completely disinterested out there and it should make for a really mundane third period and running diary.

9:27: Senators win 5-2 in Alfie's 1000th game! I was right - the remainder of the diary would be boring once the Panthers mailed it in.

Daniel Alfredsson has never really had a reputation for being the most skilled player on this city. Since his rookie season, Alfie has only finished the regular season as the Ottawa Senators leader in points three times. (Ed. note: This season would be his fourth.) Whether it Yashin, Hossa, Havlat, Heatley or Kovalev, Alfredsson's offensive talents have always drawn fewer accolades than those surrounding him.

While his past and present teammates have enjoyed greater statistical seasons, no other player in the history of this organization has had a more profound impact upon his teammates or fans than Daniel Alfredsson. I have no reservations when I say that Alfredsson is the greatest player that this city has ever known.

It just took awhile for us to realize it.

On a night when Senators fans will celebrate his 1000th career game, it's a tad ironic that I can't recall watching any of the aforementioned skilled players for the first time. But I can vividly remember watching Alfredsson when he suited up for an  exhibition game at the Civic Center in September of 1995. Sitting in our seats during the pre-game skate, I can recall my father making an explicit point for me to keep a mindful watch on the two Senators rookies -- Antti Tormanen and Alfredsson. (Ed. note: It should be noted that I do remember Alexei Yashin's first exhibition game in Ottawa but it wasn't for his play. With a bird's eye view from the Civic Center luxury suites, my mother remarked how cute it was that Alexandre Daigle and Yashin had mirrored numbers -- 91 and 19. In retrospect, I should have known right then that neither of their careers would turn out for the better. The 'cute' factor was the kiss of death.)

After Alfredsson had put up a pair of points, I remember leaving the arena via Queen Elizabeth Drive and getting excited talking with my dad about the performance we had just witnessed. As a moment, it stands out just as  memorably as watching Alfie win the Calder Trophy later that season as the League's best rookie. It's almost like it's the hidden beauty about looking back on  Alfredsson's career, everyone seemingly has their own story about watching number eleven for the first time. And it's not a phenomenon that's exclusive to Senators fans.

Just this past February, Tim and I were fortunate to have our podcast graced by an appearance by the former Senators General Manager, Randy Sexton. When the topic of Alfie was broached, he fondly mentioned that the first time he saw Alfredsson skate at training camp in Arnprior, he knew that he was watching a future Hall of Famer.

Think about that for a second, you have two individuals describing their first Alfie live experience: one from a NHL executive and the other from an adolescent hockey fan. One praising Alfredsson as a future Hall of Famer while the other was reserved enough to describe Alfie only as infinitely better player than his rookie teammate, Antti Tormanen. Had you not known, it's almost hard to believe that the fanboy response didn't emanate from me.

So when Alfredsson won the Calder in 1996, why didn't more fans gravitate towards him like Randy Sexton did? For one thing, the early portion of his NHL career was marred by injuries. Following that 1995-96 season, Alfie played 76, 55, 58, 57, and 68 games for the next five seasons. It also didn't help matters that this city's headlines were often reserved for Alexei Yashin's production and public contract squabbles.

By the time that he had finally rid himself of the injury bug in 2001-02, the Senators had augmented their roster and identity through trades and the NHL Entry Draft. With players like Mike Fisher, Marian Hossa, Wade Redden and Chris Phillips and Martin Havlat, Ottawa's blueprint for success had finally manifested itself.  As Ottawa continued to win, Alfredsson was often just seen as one part in the whole. For years, he had developed a dressing room reputation as a leader who set an example for others through his play. Off the ice, he came across the same way. Content just to stay out of the public eye and let his younger teammates enjoy the limelight that came with being a winning team in a Canadian market. Ottawa quickly became regarded by pundits as a model small market franchise that had built itself the right way. (Ed. note: Remember, this was before the days of Eugene Melnyk's financial certainty and the NHL salary cap. Without the finances to buy a winner, Ottawa was at a competitive disadvantage.)

It was this disadvantage that eventually lead to Alfredsson doing the most selfless thing that he could do. With the team on the verge of financial ruin in 2003, the captain deferred the remainder of his salary to allow the team to add some pieces at the trade deadline and improve their odds at a Stanley Cup. Even when his most recent cap friend contract expired, he has continued to embrace his unselfish role. By signing another cap friendly extension and using his own home as a hotel for Erik Karlsson, Alfredsson continues to demonstrate that he's willing to do whatever it takes to make his team and teammates better.

And maybe that's what makes Alfredsson so special. For a franchise that has repeatedly been let down by players over the years -- Yashin, Hasek, Redden vs Chara, and Heatley -- I appreciate watching a player who genuinely looks as though he cares about something other than his statistics, ice-time or paycheque.

So on the night of your 1000th game Daniel Alfredsson, I'd just like to say thanks. Over the course of your career, you've given me more than my fair share of memories that I've relived numerous times with my family, friends and readers. Whether it was watching you live for the first time or watching you score the game winning game goal against the Buffalo Sabres in the 2007 Eastern Conference Finals, it's been a delight.

Oh, one more thing: I forgot to thank you for drilling that smarmy piece of shit known as Darcy Tucker into the boards. That hit... was superb.

Via the Ottawa Senators' Twitter account, the team has announced the signing of CJHL free-agent forward David Dziurzynski to a three-year entry-level contract.

From the Senators website:

Dziurzynski, 20, recently completed his third season in the Canadian Junior Hockey League and first with the Alberni Valley Bulldogs of the British Columbia Hockey League. The Bulldogs acquired his rights in a trade from the Lloydminster Bobcats of the Alberta Junior Hockey League in July 2009.

During the 2009-10 season, Dziurzynski helped Alberni Valley place first in the BCHL’s Coastal Conference, scoring 21 goals while adding 53 assists and 79 penalty minutes over 57 games. He had 26 multi-point games, six of which were three-point games, four at four points and one contest at five.

The native of Lloydminster, Alta., led the Bulldogs in playoff scoring with nine goals, 10 assists and eight penalty minutes in 13 games. Alberni Valley fell four games to three to the Powell River Kings in their first appearance in the conference final.

The 6-3, 205-pound forward played the 2007-08 and 2008-09 seasons for the AJHL’s Lloydminster Bobcats. Dziurzynski scored 12 goals and added 25 assists for 37 points while also serving 185 penalty minutes in 54 games in 2008-09. He had eight goals, 12 assists and 82 penalty minutes in 52 games for Lloydminster in 2007-08.

Hopefully be back soon with an Alfie tribute. Stay tuned.

Jared Cowen Autographed Jersey T-Shirt Contest Continued...

Since I'm enjoying the recent challenge so much and seeing as how tomorrow is Daniel Alfredsson's 1000th game, keep submitting those MS Paint pictures depicting Alfie. I'll publish them all tomorrow. Email yours to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Here is my favorite thus far...

Kuba Done?

With Milan Michalek set to return either Tuesday night against the Panthers or Thursday night against the Lightning, all questions pertaining to the health of the Senators roster are now directed to the ailing Filip Kuba.

It's not like Kuba hasn't been the subject of intense scrutiny. From questions about his production to the mainstream media questioning whether or not he has a uterus, Kuba's 2009-10 campaign can only be categorized as an unmitigated disaster for the Senators defenceman.

To hear Cory Clouston reveal that Kuba's back hasn't progressed as well as the organization would like and that the injury may cause him to miss the rest of the season, is just the icing on the cake. These days, the only thing progressing worse than Filip Kuba's back is the defenceman's trade value. It's enough to have Don Brennan make this face... (Ed. note: Any excuse I can have to publish this Brennan picture is good enough for me.)

Sutton Negotiations?

According to the Ottawa Sun's Off the Posts blog, Andy Sutton told New York reporters Saturday he'd consider re-signing with the Isles in the off-season. "I love the direction the team is going," said Sutton,. "I love the guys, and it's a great organization, so I definitely wouldn't rule that out. They're not very far off."

Whether or not he's just paying lip service to the Islanders fans, his comments can't be encouraging for Senators fans. If anything, it's a humble reminder that there are no assurances that Sutton won't test the market on July 1st.

The Mainstream Media Discusses a Struggling Forward Not Named L'Enigma

It's hard to believe, isn't it? But somehow Allen Panzeri managed to devote a whole article to a player not named Alexei Kovalev. As shocking as it was to find out that Kovalev wasn't the featured subject, it's almost twice as shocking to hear that Foligno is having a hard time producing while playing alongside Jesse Winchester and Ryan Shannon. (Ed. note: Just ask Peter Regin how hard it is.)

Like Regin however, it looks as though Foligno's going to get an opportunity to escape by playing with Mike Fisher and the aforementioned Kovalev.

All In, All Red

In an email last week, it appeared as thought the Senators did leak their playoff slogan when they announced the playoff ticket sale and said that the first 200 fans in line for tickets (at SBP) will receive Senators car flags, while all persons in attendance will receive a free All In, All Red window cling courtesy of Scotiabank.

Then I received this email from the Senators today that confirmed that this is in fact the unimaginative and uninspiring mantra that the team is going to go by for the rest of the season...

All in, All Red? Doesn't another Eastern Conference team already Rock the Red? Leave it to the unimaginative Senators brass to blatantly rip off another successful playoff idea:

• We've had the Woo-Hoo towels and used Blur's Song 2
  
• We've used the Anaheim Angels' Thundersticks
• Like the Leafs, the Senators bow out every postseason.
  
• For one season, the Senators mimicked the Winnipeg Jets' Whiteout idea.

Next season we'll be told to dress up like Skeletor and cheer on the rally monkey if the team has to play from behind.

Leonsis Takes Exception to Umberger's Comments

Speaking of the Washington Capitals, it's always entertaining to see that another team's owner can step into the spotlight and act like a peacock.

When asked his opinion of the Washington Capitals, RJ Umberger dropped this gem:

“I don’t think any team in the West would be overmatched by them. Because they play the wrong way. They want to be moving all the time. They float in their zone looking for breakaways and odd-man rushes. A good defensive team is going to beat them (in the playoffs). If you eliminate your turnovers and keep them off the power play, they’re going to get frustrated because they’re in their zone a lot.”

In response, Capitals owner Ted Leonsis put on the best defensive effort that his team has exhibited all season.