Written by Graeme Nichols | 27 May 2009

Dear Gary Bettman:

Remember how your biggest worry during the Conference Finals was that if the series ended prematurely, there'd be a lull due to some broadcast scheduling conflicts. You know which fears I'm talking about. You're a fucking NBA guy Gary, of course you know what I'm talking about. That deep inner fear that any lull will subsequently cause casual sports fans to forget about hockey and jump on the NBA bandwagon and root for a Kobe versus Lebron Final. Well, sorry Gary, I'm going to bring you down another notch.

Best regards,
Steroid Allegations

It's amazing what a serious allegation can do to the Canadian hockey culture. With both Conference Finals having ended in a nondramatic fashion, I was bracing myself for long layoff before the Stanley Cup Final that would feature monotonous analysis that gets tiresome after one morning. Imagine in the Finals didn't start for a week? Day seven's analyis would deteriorate to the point that Pierre Maguire would try to keep things fresh by saying ridiculous things like it all comes down to whose best androgynous-named player plays best. Marian vs. Sidney vs. Jenny Malkin. Let's get it on!!!!

I'm already tired of hearing pundits carry on and try to explain inconsequential things. (What? Sidney Crosby jinxed his team's chances by lifting the Wales Trophy?!?!)

Or if it's not inconsequential things, we'll get inundated with commentary on how certain players never get any respect. Poor Chris Osgoode, all he does is win. Why doesn't anyone like him? You want to know why nobody admires Ozzy? It's easy -- it's his mask. If Lebron James was out there doing his best John Stockton imitation by wearing a pair of shorts that end at his inner thigh, his popularity would be cut in half. The same theory applies to Osgoode.

Fortunately, the layoff isn't that long and it's really beneficial to the League right now. The NHL is seemingly making some inroads with their product in the United States -- Phoenix notwithstanding -- and they no longer have to worry about the aforementioned scheduling conflicts. It was almost too good to be true. Cue the story of a reputed steroid distributor who claims that he allegedly supplied undisclosed members of the Washington Nationals and the Washington Capitals with performance enhancing drugs. Yes, the same Washington Capitals who have been lauded as one of the most young and exciting teams in the League. And yes, the same Washington Capitals team that features Alexander Ovechkin, arguably one of the most exciting and charismatic players in League history. (On a side note, anyone who thinks Crosby and the Penguins aren't enjoying this news is just plain crazy. At the same time, I really feel for the innocent players on the Capitals who will be victimized by these allegations.)

Yes, the credibility of Mr. Todd Richards should be heavily scrutinized and it's likely that he's trying to deflect attention away from himself after his arrest. However, for it's completely ignorant for someone to dismiss the allegations in their entirety.

We've all heard the hockey apologist argument that the good old Canadian boys would never touch steroids since hockey's not a sport that requires that stereotypical bodybuilder build. It's absolutely astounding at how narrow minded some people can be when the topic of hockey and PEDs is approached.

I can honestly say, I have never seen a trace of steroids, from bantam to midget to junior to here. I have never heard of a guy take a steroid, and I've never seen a guy take a steroid.

If someone was doing it, he would come in at the end of the summer looking huge. And you would have already written a story about it, 'Jeez, he looks great. Look how big and fast he is.' But by midseason, he would have shrunk down again because we have testing. There hasn't been any of that. So as far as I'm concerned, it's just a rumor and it doesn't concern any of our present guys. ~ Brooks Laich, courtesy Puck Daddy, Yahoo! Sports

Alright, I'll give Brooks Laich the benefit of the doubt and forgive him for not knowing about how designer steroids are made by companies like Balco and can be sport specific. And like Puck Daddy mentioned in his piece, PEDs can be used by athletes to improve speed and their recovery process.

But for God's sakes, how quickly do we as fans forget that both Jose Theodore and Bryan Berard tested positive for steroids. (Okay, I know what you're thinking. Berard and Theodore are two perfect examples for how steroids don't necessarily improve performance.) I think the case of Berard is of particular interest because of his visual impairment. (Of course the Theodore case is interesting and hilarious because the drug he received permission to take was prescribed by a physician to stimulate hair growth.)

Anyways, I digress. When Berard suffered that unfortunate eye injury, courtesy of that Marian Hossa high-stick, doctors said that he'd never play again. After walking away from millions in insurance money, Berard eventually returned to play and it was revealed in 2006 that he tested positive for 19-norandrosterone, an anabolic steroid. Assuming that Berard took the steroid in efforts to get his play back to that NHL standard, his case is emblematic for those who may be tempted to take a PED to get their shot and subsequent riches. The difference between an AHLer and a NHLer is hundreds of thousands of dollars. It wouldn't be surprising at all to learn about fringe NHL players succumbing to the temptation.

Getting back to that Puck Daddy article, there's another quote from Laich stating that no time frame was given by Richards in when he provided a Capitals player with the drugs. In other words, Richards could have sold steroids to a player years ago. It's funny, it seems like just yesterday that we are marvelling at how big and strong and fast the players had gotten during the 1990s. But maybe that's just coincidence. I don't know. While I do believe that the number of hockey players who have doped is likely disproportionate to the other major sports, I am skeptical of Laich when he says that he's never heard of a case. It's just so hard not to be when there's Manny being tranny and Lance Armstrong's trying to shake his doping accusations. PEDs have become such a large part of our modern sports landscape that we can no longer be so naive when we assume that professional hockey is above this problem.

< Prev		Next >