| 07 July 2009
Everyone is abuzz with Enigma. It's the hottest thing this side of the Quebec border and there are already talks of it being taken on the road around North America this winter. When I was doing my rounds of reading today it was near impossible to read anything without stumbling across an article featuring the Enigma. I decided to compile some of the most compelling tales of this wonderful word's rise to fame.
A quick definition courtesy of dictionary.com "a person of puzzling or contradictory character."
Ottawa Sun"Now the Kovalev enigma is added to the mix."
Oh yeah baby just what we like at the Sun, half cup drama and half cup of sass. It's been over 24 hours now and we still haven't heard from Brennan or Garrioch. Brennan is probably still going through his self storage unit looking for that dictionary he used when CFL players used words he didn't understand so he can look up enigma since the word is hotter than Palestinian scarves and Gossip Girl. Maybe he's trying to figure out what words rhyme with Alex (not many rhyme with Kovalev)for his hate pieces to be written next year when the Sens don't win the Stanley Cup (annex, suspect, perplex and reject all come to mind, maybe you can use one of those Don?) He doesn't have a NTC - this should be easy for you bud.
Ottawa CitizenRight in the title, "Enigma named Alex joins Sens. Kovalev brings superb skills, suspect rep to Ottawa."
This tells me a few things. First, the Citizen is not selling newspapers to Ottawa Sun readers. Not even trying. Second, the Citizen is trying to appeal to the, how do I say urban street wise crowd, by dropping words like "Rep" right into the headline. Tomorrow I fully expect to see a front page image of the news editor pouring a 40oz of Colt onto the pavement in front of the American embassy to honor Robert McNamara with the headline "Bobby McMack-Daddy RIP".
The Hockey News"Montreal, where his enigmatic style was revered by fans even if it ran him afoul of team management on occasion."
Oh. So enigmatic has endearing, if not positive connotations too. Interesting. "Kovalev disagrees with being labelled as enigmatic."
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but to be an enigma is to be a problem and defy explanation. Like a U.F.O. or Tom Hanks sex appeal. Kovalev goes on in this article to explain himself.
"I don't know why people say that all the time about inconsistency. I always play the best I can," he said.
That explanation clears just about everything up for me Alex.
CBC"Gainey told the enigmatic winger to stay home in March..."
If this was him signing anywhere else, you better believe the CBC is calling this guy an All-Star winger, an Olympian winger or even elite winger. More garbage from our already over funded public broadcaster.
note: Before/After December 31, 209 Don Cherry refers to Kovalev as a homosexual or French. Be sure to take into consideration when making your decision that his name is relatively easy to pronounce and he does not wear a visor but also remember he is an Enigmatic European (like you could forget)
TSN "The enigmatic sniper has signed a two-year, $10 million contract with the Ottawa Senators."
Enigmatic, a word which pertains to one who is an enigma. This sentence itself defies description as it is terrible and particularly bland, even for the mainstream.
note: anyone else have a problem with military language in hockey? "snipers", "foot soldiers" and "trenches"? Seems almost as dumb as calling a bunch of millionaires 'blue collar'.
The blog world has been no better, jumping on the enigma fad faster than idiots jumping on the Michael Jackson sympathic tragedy train, in the vein of 'It's such a loss for the music world'.
Yahoo! "An enigmatic player goes to the city of enigmatic players"
Redundant and predictable. C-
SenSay"He’s been an enigma wrapped in a mega-elite package."
No thank you waiter, this dish is cold and stale. I think I would rather have the fresh word of the day than this horrible enigma wrap.
The 6th Sens"Bryan Murray has brought in another enigmatic Russian."
What the hell? That isn't supposed to be here. Graeme you fool. You're just like the rest of them. This is disgusting. Pass me a 3rd jersey, I just vomited in the cat litter. What a mess.
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