Written by Graeme Nichols | 13 January 2009

Tonight's win kind of makes the next game against the Thrashers a must-lose, no? If you could bet on hockey the way that you can bet on football, imagine the return by wagering that Phillips, Fisher-Underwood and Vermette would all score in the same game. What is this 2006?

Off-topic...don't Fisher's struggles resemble Charlie Sheen's struggles in Major League 2? You know, when Sheen was dating that upper crust girl and his game went to shit. Who's with me here?

I was going to touch upon some comments made by Eric Duhatschek during last night's telecast of That's Hockey! but I completely forgot. Why? Because TSN's professed Perfect Trade Scenario for Jason Spezza, turned into itself into a Bruce Garrioch wet fart. Did you know that Columbus has improved under Steve Mason and is contending for a Playoff spot? Did you also know that they lack a number one center? Did you also know that Ottawa was playing like shit and every NHL insider thinks Spezza's available? Perfect match, no? Sure? Maybe? But why spin it like it's an original idea? Garrioch's been talking about this for weeks and even he extended the parameters of the deal beyond Leclaire. But what am I missing here? Why would Ottawa have the sudden infatuation to overpay to bring in an expensive ($3.8 million), injury-prone backup who has been incredibly mediocre this year - a 3.83 GAA and a whopping save % of .867. Yeah, let's trade our leading scorer for this pile of dogshit. It's laughable because Columbus doesn't have any leverage on Ottawa - Ottawa doesn't need a goalie, the Blue Jackets NEED a first line center. And most importantly, wouldn't this leave us with four reasonable NHL goalies? If Martin Gerber thinks it sucks with just three, I'd love to hear what he thinks when he's sitting in the pressbox with Alex Auld.

I know, I know, some of you may be saying But wait, come on, Leclaire was phenominal last season. To which I respond with a, did you know that Leclaire's only had 2 out 5 seasons in which he had a save percentage over .900? That's fucking depressing. Even that Swiss guy in the pressbox has better numbers than this guy. (I was going to mention Gerber's numbers, but I thought that'd completely discredit my argument.)

Frankly, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to watch some of these non-sporting event sports programs. They've slowly catered themselves to a crowd that's desperate for rumors and gossip. In consequence, we're left with a product that comes off as some second-rate Entertainment Tonight. I can't wait for TSN to announce a new lead-in to this summer's NHL awards, where host Sean Avery will be on the red carpet critiquing what the players are wearing. Actually, I might tune in to something like this. Just so that I can hear what Avery says when Phaneuf walks by with Cuthbert. Boom goes the dynamite!

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