| 15 January 2009
More than a few Senators were breathing a sigh of relief after barely squeaking out a victory against the lowly Thrashers last night. Some were already more relaxed before the game even started. Martin Gerber was especially happy to be on the red eye flight to Atlanta. Why? Just the night before, he was in the same rink as three goalies who have stolen his job - Ward, Auld, and Elliot. Imagine that, having three men in the same building who have succeeded in taking your job over the past three years. It's like having all your ex-girlfriends in the same room as you at the same time laughing and swapping stories about all the times you cried and had to lie to your children and tell them the game is blacked out tonight so they wouldn't see your frowning ass in the press box. Poor Gerber. Although his millions of dollars might be of consolation, I hear there's only one ATM in Binghamton. I've also heard that the withdrawal limit is unusually low so crying into a pillow of bills might not be an option for him.
Last night's victory (if we can call it that?), the Senators made a small jump up in the standings. (Not unlike Tom Cruise with leg weights on a water bed.) As the wins keep coming, it only takes the team one step further from a coveted high draft selection. More and more I'm seeing a disturbingly optimistic trend in Senators fans mentality that the team can salvage a playoff spot, or at least contend for 8th. This is wrong - Like setting up a camera in your family's toilet kinda wrong. What's the point? Odds are they'd get annihilated in four games (again) and be left holding the fat chicks hand at prom while the biggest losers in school brought hookers and are scoring big behind the bleachers. It's just not cool. Especially when your friends see you. I can hear the Islanders and Thrashers fans laughing already. You know what the difference between finishing 9th or 14th in the Eastern Conference? The degree of complaining you'll hear on draft day as fans talk about the necessity of moving up in the draft.
Flirting with the 8th seed has been the Toronto way for seasons now and until last season, they were stuck in the same rut. Every deadline, they would empty the farm in hopes of finishing as a bottom seed. They became a joke. Their system was more hollow than a Hockeybuzz rumor and had the same potential for success as a German in an Israeli talent show. At the time, Sens fans watched and laughed at their methods. We knew what they were doing was wrong, and it took them years to admit to their mistakes. I'd hate to think that Sens fans were being stricken by this win-now mentality that I'll refer to as Leafs Syndrome. Have we forgotten the lessons learned here?
Ottawa's in a unique situation. They have a somewhat competent core (depending on the lunar cycle and how late the guys stay up sending each other 'pokes' on facebook) that can be supplemented through free agency and some clever drafting. With some shrewd maneuvering, we can resume chasing the Presidents trophy (the BaracKup) within two or three seasons.
I don't know about you but I'd rather have a hooker with a cough than a fat chick on draft day. Who's your date?
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